The Message Confuses Me!

The Message Confuses Me!

(Wow! Had to come back to the top after I finished and write this disclaimer. Promise me you’ll either quit reading now OR you will read to the very end. If you quit in the middle you might decide not to let me be your friend…and that would break my heart!)


Hi, friend!

Do you listen to any great podcasts? (My Journalism PR major daughter would probably slap my hand off the keyboard for starting with a question. Ha!) Well, if I am in my car I am probably bingeing podcasts all the way. I drive almost 30 minutes to my studio everyday so I can get a good hour in. I love to listen to all kinds of podcasts… spiritual, personal growth, business, more business and the, of course, natural beauty! (Feel free to share your favorites with me!)


I was listening to a podcast yesterday and found my mind wandering several times. After hitting the button to skip back thirty seconds about THIRTY times {slight exaggeration!} I finally hit pause. The podcast host and guest were talking about “aging positivity”. It was their feeling that terms like “anti-aging” are degrading and should no longer be used. I get what they were saying but the more I thought about it they missed the mark a bit. So first, I have to ask… how do you feel about the term “anti-aging” when it comes to seeing that on your skin care package or advertisement? I mean, isn’t that what most women want when it comes to our skin?


Not to get to “skin-sciency” but there are elements (environment, stress, poor diet, poor sleep, poor hydration…you get it) that are prematurely aging our skin. Don’t we want something that has an “anti-aging” effect? So it’s 2021…how do we say that now? Why does it feel like we need a whole new language recently? Do you have kids? I do. Mine are 24 and 26 and it is irritating when they (their generation) take a word that I have said all my life and twist it to something I should no longer say. What the heck? I looked up a word in the Urban Dictionary after I said it and my kids responded “don’t say that anymore”. Why? Why did you take my perfectly innocent word and MESS. IT. UP? Ok, that is actually not even my point when I sat down to write to you so I’ll get back on track.


So now we are supposed to say “aging positivity”. {Insert huge eyeball roll}. Before you think that I am totally “anti-aging” let me explain. I am all for aging! There are a few things that we experience as we age that I’m sure we would live without right? Like taking a few steps to work the kinks out when you sit crisscross applesauce too long. What about hoping you don’t pee when you sneeze or laugh too much (please let that one be further down the road for me). Or maybe adding progressive lenses? (Thank you whoever invented the LASIK procedure that I just had touched up.) But seriously, you couldn’t pay me enough money to go back twenty years. I was really not that smart! I rather appreciate the wisdom that comes with aging. I appreciate the life experiences that come with aging. I love that I have gained confidence in who I am and what I believe after this many decades around the sun. I will take all the knots on my head and keep right on moving forward, thank you! What about you? Would you roll back the hands of time even a little bit? Sure I would do some things different, but the lessons only seem to come from the times of a little more pressure or discomfort, or even times that just flat out suck!


So, you get my point that I am not against aging. I am, however, against the stinkin’ things prematurely aging my skin so can we just agree that we will keep the term “anti-aging” when it comes to skin care? Alright, you’re not going to believe this {or maybe you ARE}…but this still isn’t my point. Just a rabbit trail!


So back to the podcast and having to shut it off because I wasn’t listening. The thoughts that kept rolling around in my head were more revolving around everyone wanting to add the word “positivity” to everything. You’ve seen it, right? Everything is about “body positivity” now. What really bothers me, speaking from my years of wisdom J, is that as a holistic health coach it doesn’t make sense. I get what they are saying…but I don’t know that it’s having such a “positive” outcome. Promise you’ll not only hang with me for a minute but that you won’t delete me. You’ll read next week, right?


The whole “body positivity” is around being comfortable with the skin you’re in. Agreed! But it doesn’t go far enough. It is used widely around more “voluptuous” women. Here’s my thing. What do you think when you see a person who is so thin that you’d guess they are either ill or maybe have an eating disorder? If you’re anything like me, your heart SINKS for them and often times I say a prayer for them walking past them. I want so badly for them to be healthy! Would you ever expect to see a photo of that sweet person on social media with “#bodypositivity”? I don’t think so. First everyone would do like we’ve all done and trash society and the fashion industry for promoting eating disorders and an unnatural, unhealthy body. Soooo… why is it now that we celebrate the serious issue of a nation that is seriously overweight and obese? (That was more of a bomb drop than a mic drop. EEK!) Does your heart break as much for the overweight person as it does the malnourished person? What irritates me is in this “positivity” is that I think they are trying to say “any size is beautiful”. I think they are absolutely on the mark with promoting that beauty and loving yourself doesn’t have to do with you waist measurement or your bust measurement…or any other measurement for that fact.  I don’t care what your weight is… you should LOVE yourself and there is beauty in every single woman. YOU are perfectly and wonderfully made. Do you know that? You are totally loveable! I could camp here for a week, but I gotta get to the end of the point.


So we agree that we are lovely, right? If you don’t then call me at 763-232-5855 and I will tell you how amazing, lovable, and valuable you are. Not kidding! Here is what I won’t celebrate. I won’t celebrate overweight and obese the way that it seems some are trying to make it the new trend. I won’t celebrate the unhealthiness of obesity any more than I would celebrate the other eating disorders (yes, overeating is an eating disorder) of anorexia and bulimia. And I have been in and out of several category many times. I have felt what overweight feels like and I have felt what healthy feels like. Healthy feels so much better! But you know what? I loved myself regardless of if I was healthy or overweight. The LOVE and the HEALTH are two separate things! How do we lump that under “body positivity”? Do you get what I am saying and that I am NOT trying to be offensive at all? Being a health coach for over a decade (not actively coaching but always bingeing info) my heart about jumps out of my chest when I get to give someone information that would make them healthier. Wouldn’t you love to create the new definition of “body positivity” to be “what you look like when you fuel your body well, move your body well, and rest your body well is perfectly and positively YOU.”


What do you think? Can we start a movement where we can encourage people around us to LOVE themselves and feel beautiful no matter what, but strive for a healthy body to run this race of life? There is nothing positive feeling about inflammation that comes from excess weight. There is nothing positive about a poor diet bringing on type 2 diabetes. There is nothing positive about not being able to move well and enjoy life. (Again I could go on but refrain.) It simply doesn’t feel good and allow us to squeeze every little drop out of life. How about we spread “Love ourselves always…and strive for a healthy body”? Now that is POSITIVE for a mind and body!


BTW… I am selling nothing but if you EVER have any questions about how to begin a healthier journey simply use the same number as above, my friend, and you get some of my time with no strings attached. I am on this journey of striving for a healthy body to fully enjoy life with you!


Oh, and here’s to anti-aging skin care! Woot Woot!! I promise my next letter won’t be from on top of a soap box! I really do hope you will write me back and tell me what you think. I love great perspective from smart people around me and engaging conversation too!


Sending so much love and praying so much good health over you!